Thursday, February 25, 2021

Dream Walkers in the Age of COVID-19

 Rolling into last year from a relatively easy going 2019 we were all caught out by the chaos and mayhem which rose and dumped on us like a Tsunami. Unprepared and ill equipped we rode the swirling currents of plague, financial devastation, and social collapse; some dragged under and most barely keeping our heads above water.

In mid-February, after the devastating bushfires and before COVID-19 was regarded a serious problem, I took a drive from my home on the Mornington peninsula, Victoria to southern New South Wales to pick up my wife’s birthday present. In mid-2019 my son had moved out of home, taking Eddie his Labrador. Both Angela and I are dog people and following the deaths of our aged cocker spaniel and kelpie, Eddie filled a yawning chasm in our lives and is much loved by us all. A few moths after his departure from our home the chasm’s cracks again began to appear and we each longed for a new four-legged (plus tail) companion. What better birthday present? I could gift her half a dog. I’d look after the half you feed, and she could have the back half.

Initially I looked at mature and abandoned dogs, but the animal welfare agencies were stocked predominantly with aggressive looking dogs with titles like Bull Arab, Bull Terrier and Mastiff which were not our cup of tea. If you did stumble over a Labrador or Kelpie they were adopted before you completed the exhaustive multi-page, online application which needed to be submitted for each. At prices around $4,000 pups in the breeds we loved were financially out of the question.

Having virtually given up on the idea I was one afternoon flicking through ads on a well-known online marketplace when the most beautiful pups I’d ever seen appeared. Snow white fluffy coat with a jet-black nose, and dark intelligent, inquisitive eyes at a reasonable price. Maremmas.

Besotted, I delved further into the breed which it happens is two thousand years old. A dog bred to protect flocks of sheep from wolves and other predators in the Alps which border Italy and Austria. They are classed as a giant breed and the adorable puppies grow into huge, majestic adults. They’ve recently gained some notoriety from the film “Odd Ball”, the story of a Maremma which took to guarding an endangered colony of penguins on an island just off the Victorian coast. There have also been recent news items about poultry farmers using Maremma to fox proof their chickens. During my study of the breed, I learned they are fiercely protective of their flocks and you need to watch your p’s and q’s if you come across them while tramping through the Alps or a chook yard. I spoke with the breeder and she sent many adorable pictures of the three pups she had left from her litter of eight. I questioned her about their suitability in an urban environment explaining we had a large yard and a strip park along the creek running behind our house for plenty of daily exercise. She assured me that other pups had gone to similar homes and there had been no trouble so far.

Next thing I was off to NSW with a pocket full of cash to collect our beautiful pup having told Angela I was going for business. Leaving at 3am I arrived back that night at 10.30 with her birthday surprise. And what a surprise it was. Positively the most beautiful puppy we had ever seen. We immediately named him Yeti and settled into what we anticipated would be an idyllic existence with him. And for ten months it was.

Today a shade under a year later I fight back waves of grief and Angela pushes traumatic memories into the farthest recesses of her mind.

From March of 2020 both Angela and I have worked from home. She in a room to the left of the front door and me in one to the right. This arrangement coincided closely with Yeti’s arrival. At first, he was heavily socialised; obedience classes, cafés for brunch, lots of family and other visitors to the house. He delighted everyone and was delighted by everyone. As COVID-19 took hold of the year we were plunged into long periods of lockdown with restrictions on movement, socialising and numbers allowed at gatherings. Yeti was walked everyday along the creek and reserve which runs behind our fence, with (when permissible) frequent trips to the local beaches. He showed little interest in the chooks we hoped he’d adopt as his flock and each day would station himself at the front door between our offices and keep and eye on the street, barking at any strangers or unexpected activity. For this he was always praised and reassured. He showed no other sign of aggression to anyone who came to the house. Yeti was unruffled by other dogs, our grandchildren (frequent visitors) or anyone we allowed to cross the threshold.

Late November Yeti turned 1. The photos I took that day show a beautiful, healthy, happy boy. A few days later I tied Yeti on a long rope in front of our house to be with me while I worked in the garden. Owen from next door who Yeti had met several times approached and Yeti began to bark aggressively and pull on the rope. Owen spoke to him calmingly and reached out to pat his head. Yeti gave a guttural growl and snapped at his hand. As Maremma are classified a “Giant” breed we were advised to delay his sterilisation for up to two years but following this incident we decided the time had come for de-nutting. With Christmas fast approaching we delayed this to early January in 2021. Two similar incidents occurred over the Christmas period with him showing aggression to my elder son and Angela’s brother visiting from interstate.

Early January, I took Yeti to the vet for his procedure. The snarling and aggression began when the receptionist went to scan his microchip and got worse when the vet tried to examine him and administer a sedative injection which seemed to have little effect on 40kg of angry hound. Muzzled, he was led away. We received a call to come and get him. Everything had gone well but he would not now let any of the vet staff near him and I had to go to the back room and retrieve him from his pen.

Yeti seemed to settle down after the operation. We put a conscious effort into increased socialisation with both people and other dogs. In early February our four-year-old grandson Alfie and his Mum were visiting and had been in the backyard enjoying a lovely warm day. All humans and dog came in to Angela’s office. Alfie and his Mum were seated on a couch with Yeti sitting in front of Alfie, Angela standing beside Yeti patting his head. Alfie commented how soft Yeti’s fir was and reached out to touch him. Yeti went nuts, leaping up and standing over Alfie snarling, baring his fangs, and snapping at him. Had it not been for the two women in the room dragging Yeti away and protecting the child, Alfie would have been seriously mauled around his face and throat. Angela, who pulled the dog away is still severely traumatised by the incident. The attack was so random and brutal that she feels Yeti can no longer be trusted and worried even for her own safety.

Through the kindness of strangers, Yeti is now hundreds of kilometres away on a rural property learning to become a livestock guardian, narrowly avoiding euthanasia. The fact is though that he is an innocent and not to blame for what happened. I am.

Due to isolation and lack of socialising caused by two extended lockdowns in Victoria, Yeti had adopted Angela and I as his flock. His instinct finely honed over 2000 years is to protect his charges.

Everything Yeti did was because of his devotion to and love for us. We cannot know what was going on in his head when he attacked. Probably nothing, I believe it was completely instinctual. Something in the movement of Alfie’s hand triggered an instant, instinctive reaction to perceived danger directed at Angela. Whatever the cause it cannot be allowed to occur again.

I should have done a lot more research. I should not have disregarded the small doubts I did have. I should have asked more questions. The breeder should have been more forthcoming. Now I am faced with an enigma. Had I known or sensed this outcome then I would not have adopted Yeti. Had I not adopted Yeti then I would not have shared my life with the most majestic and remarkable animal I’ve ever encountered. In October 2020 I wrote:

MAREMMA

You may know my mind 

But you’ll never own it 

You may have my heart 

I freely give it

I will walk with you

Into the night

When you make a stand I will fight

For you

You are my life

I am now in my late 60’s. I’ve owned, trained and cared for dogs all my life. In Yeti I found a depth of emotional and spiritual connection that I have never experienced before. He has an independence and intelligence about him that is unique. He wanted to partner rather than obey. A Maremma’s strength of character has evolved from long cold days in the Alps guarding their flocks. They do not wait to be told there is danger, they instinctively recognise and eliminate it.

So, despite Yeti’s devotion to us and my respect and love for him I have abandoned and betrayed him. I’m told that I have done the best I can by him and that the alternatives were worse, but I cannot reconcile and accept this. The bond we share is not broken. I know he waits for me to come and collect him and will his whole life.

Most nights Yeti stalks my dreams. He walks out of the bush and barks at me to follow. He strolls the beach with my deceased father and bounds up to me. He sits before me and puts his paw on my knee. Yes, I know they are dreams but they are mutually dreamed dreams Yeti and I share.

Yeti’s dream is to come home. My dream is to bring him home.



You’ll never walk alone ...


© Copyright Chris Lowe, 2021


Monday, June 30, 2014

THE REEF’S SONG

Compounding complexities
Singular singularities
Beauty found in glowing hues
Eons to grow
Precious to lose

Now comes the time
Now comes the turning
The scales have tipped
The chances burning

Infinite infinities 
Crucial chronologies
Footprints pressed into sand
Wash away
As will man

Now is the time
Reclaim the learning
Restore that for which
Your heart is yearning 

Wave after wave
After wave 
After wave
After wave
After wave



Tuesday, December 31, 2013

For Ayla

We are sent
A tide each day
It washes in 
It takes away
There is an end 
To every start
You can hold the love
But not the heart

Life is carried by
A Summer breeze
To which we all
Must be released
Life is fragile
Light and fine
Let it float away
Like dandelion ...

Love is not 
A prisoner of time

1/1/2014


Saturday, December 28, 2013

Wanton

Kittenish
Straight from the fray
Fresh from the bed
Naked and languid 
Creamy hips draped
In creamy silk
Penetrated, devoured
Erotically oozing
Musk and emotion
And life and cum

Grounded angel
Bare breasts and belly
Caught 
Shyly admiring
Her ravaged reflection
"I feel quite wanton" says she
Never have I seen
Anything
More erotic 
And impassioned
Never have I 
Desired
Like this before




Monday, February 18, 2013

Hidden Garden

Tangled walled garden
Blood red plush velvet
Wild hidden rose
Untouched
Unseen
Imagined ...
Intoxication

Viscous vermillion wine
Long stemmed heart shaped glasses
A key creaks in a rusted lock
A gown rustles on the stone stair
A warm wind
A feather wafts
To earth

Saturday, December 22, 2012

THE GOLDEN BREED

She trails a stick behind her
Walking on foam where
Waves meet the sand
Bares her youth in her belly
Flat, feminine and tanned
Hidden behind shades I
Pretend not to see
She flashes a smile
I know
She sees right through
Old fool me

A waterman his face is split
By wind and salt and sand
Cracks so deep his skin looks
Like old broken pavement
Emerges from a Kombi
Rolling tobacco
Making tea
I wave he nods
Looks away
Quickly out to sea

Sun dusted cinnamon
They are drawn
A place of gathering
Tonight fires will glow
Out near the point
I will still be here
Angels may arrive tomorrow
Today don't bother me
On the beach and in the Sun
With
The Golden Breed

Shoreham 23/12/12

Thursday, December 13, 2012

INTO THE LIGHT

Whisper to me angel
Place red lips beside my ear
Tell me tales of elegance and night
Your beauty breaks upon me like
Summer's first warm wave
Weave me a dream before
You merge into the light

I rise upon the hope of
A golden new born day
I drink from a heart shaped cup
Of mist and wine
My mind stained with experience
My blood stained black with ink
My soul tattooed with
Mandalas of time

Sing honestly sweet angel
Part the veil and draw me in
Your song echoes in the chambers
Of the night
Chant a new and haunting mantra
Engrave it on my heart
Weave of me a dream before I
Merge into the light.
14/12/12


Sunday, October 7, 2012

China

She flips on my hat, cross legged 
Sits naked on the bed
"No room for big brains
In here," she says
Silky, black hair cascades over cinnamon
A lustrous cocoon
I turn my back, she attacks
Laughter fills the room

"I go home Monday
You come to Hong Kong someday
Live on spine of dragon
All cares gone"
An ocean lies between us and
It's more than just the sea
I smile and look away
A million things to say that
I ... don't say

Tomorrow is sand
Sifting through my fingers
She is gone but
The scent, the touch still linger

"You think about her,  Round Eye"
She scowls and growls and
turns her pretty head
"Not your concern China Girl
Come on back to bed ..."


Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Abyss

I will know tomorrow
I create it in my mind
Today I build foundations
To support the rest of time
I smile into the abyss
I cut and turn the key
There is no more mystery
The answer lies in me



Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Dust

Motes float
in the light of an overheated room
Straw broom
sweeps detritus through broad cracks between boards
Too few words
dusted coconut over a clinical goodbye
Empty blue eyes

This is not dust
Not some stupid crush
A water colour the Sun will fade
This is not dust
It will not rust
It does not float or blow away

Don't know what I missed
Why I was dismissed
Handed my hat
and shown the door
No explanation provided
Of why you decided
I am not worth the effort no more

You say you want something
For me it's all or nothing
The dust that you raised
Fills my throat and my eyes
Look into the gloom
I stand at the centre of the room
Raising my head 
and my hand and
Waving goodbye





Monday, September 24, 2012

Hypnosis

To dream without sleep
A voice lights the path within
A tramp approaches



Monday, September 17, 2012

The Flow

A warm, errant wind rattles the chimes
The bush is coming to life, Spring's on the rise
The Sun whispers gently to petal and leaves
Bees laden with pollen hang in the breeze

I sit in the warmth and doze in the Sun
I dream of the things my life has become
I close my eyes and open my mind
I create a vision, leave illusion behind

Love flows through my being and cascades over my soul
Its path and its purpose are beyond my control
Love moves through me and in me, I delight and I yearn
A spoonful is given, an ocean returns

I watch new life blooming and hear nature's song
These truths I am feeling I know are not wrong
I set the rail of my board and leave all else to chance
Ride the perfect wave of life's most beautiful dance

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

No Retreat

No stilling the wind
Or turning the tide
I've torn open my heart
And let the love ride

I hear a tap on my window
Someone seeks sanctuary
There's no retreating with honour
This is meant to be

It seems so fucked up but
It is meant to be


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Poet

Clouded eye
Gnarled, trembling hand
Poised over poisoned paper
Collections of words
Twisted to purpose
Philosophies
Bent and dented

Did her
blonde mane frame
her cherubic face
as you struck away
the small hands raised
in expectation
of a father's
affection?

Daddy ...

In archaic style
oozing cold piety
the painful prose is
dragged screaming
and squirming
onto pages and
pressed dry

Did she
shy from
the threat of your hand
withstanding more
than you thought
she dare withstand?
This child
This wee one?

Reverend ...

Night sweats soil
foul grey sheets
ink which stains
black cracked nails
washes over
life lived
too long

Did you
find solace
in what you tore
from her?
Hold aloft the sacred sacrifice
it shines before your greedy eyes
scribbler, perhaps scribe
But never...

Poet

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Thousand Miles

A cloud's embraced the Moon
A current's drained the reef
Gospel's in the ghetto
Where they struggle to believe
Diamonds beneath the pavement
Where garbage rots in piles
One step beyond the concrete
Leaves a thousand miles behind

I'm singing on a corner
Five strings and broken blues
A long forgotten crooner
Amongst the human refuse
Singing into any ear
The insane and the blind
Inviting them to enter here
And leave the thousand miles behind

Monday, August 20, 2012

Water Man

Each poem is about you
and every song a
different point of view
of how you move or
breathe or dream ...
It's always
about you

I'm a water man
the sea runs through
my blood
Moons
steer my tides
my days and nights my
emotions and my moods

I knew you ...
I knew you before
I kissed you
wrote for you or
screwed you
Can you see
it through? Coz ...
it's empty without you.

The wind is running
from the North
swells are breaking
down the point
Salt stings
cracking lips
I barely hear the voice,
I whisper my choice

You,
so beautiful and broken
A storm of ryhme and chaos
at the centre of my ocean
I have lived a life
sifting shifting sand,
always about you
I am a waterman





Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Suitcase

You've travelled North
Up to the coast
For a week
Of Sun and sea
You smiled and said
A well earned rest was
Your itinerary
When you unpacked
Your luggage you
Were dismayed to see
The suitcase you
Had carefully packed
Was full of misery

Your little pouch of magic
Is buried in a pit
You wish that it was with you
But you can live without it
What you need most to carry
You have with you there
A suitcase full of misery
And a heart full of despair

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Rubble and Faith

In shrouds of mist
a silvery light burns,
calls me from home
through the twists
and the turns.
Rubble and faith
shift under my tread;
the road is a mystery
to both living and dead.

A Moonless night;
all I can see
is what faint starlight
reveals to me.
Beyond the next step
deep darkness is cast
and blackness swallows
the tracks of my past.

Unwaveringly I focus
on the shining light;
melting the mist;
splitting the night;
calling me forward,
ever on;
my ears are filled by
a Siren's song.

I do not fear
or falter my step;
I turn my mind from
pain and regret.
I open my heart,
fix my gaze
and walk blindly into
the darkness and haze.




Friday, August 3, 2012

Oases


Shifting sand and moving time
There are places, blue oases
I take my mind

Troubles, trials and other cares
haunt my life; trouble and strife
they cannot enter there

No restriction, no boundaries
I free, what I wish to be
There, nothing touches me

The oases spread, the desert flowers
Precious schemes, towering dreams
are the products of their power

Still, clear water; perfect peace
In silent contemplation; deep, deep meditation
I travel to oases

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Moons, Magic & Monsters

All the moons that we can visit
Twirl above us in the night
The air is full of magic
To fuel an endless flight
The universe is full of wonders
Which manifest at our command
We long for verdant landscapes
Beaches of crystal sands
Yet you stand deliberating
A little hesitant and scared
Wondering if there may be
Monsters under the bed